Changing the way we think, perceive and listen not only others but ourselves can change our lives (a bit dramatic, but it can seriously make it a whole lot better). I’ve been reading up on how mindsets play a crucial role in our day to day behaviours, actions and emotions, and through getting my daily dose of audio books and mantra anecdotes at yoga I got to thinking about my mindset.
To super simplify it; a mindset is a “simple” idea that can make all the difference in your outlook also known as a mental state. Carol Dweck, the author of Mindset delineated it as 2 entities- fixed and growth mindsets. The disposition of both of these mindsets are applied and reviewed in the realm of business, education and love. Essentially, what it comes down to is that a mindset is an interpretative process that explains what’s going on around us and in our heads. As such, a fixed mindset can be interpreted as the constant evaluation of others and ourselves while a growth mindset is the constant longing to learn and develop. The idea of these 2 very opposite ways of thinking opened up all sorts mental turmoil because I’ve been in situations where I’ve encountered both of these mindsets.
For one I have been in a situation where I did not take accountability. Being late for a meeting and blaming the road conditions or snippy at someone and blaming a stressful day at work, essentially assigning blame where I should acknowledge MY lack of responsibility and honesty- I’ve been there and I see it in people and my friends. The harsh truth is that I had a hard time facing the reality, I knew unconsciously the root causes of these small and also big situations but avoided making a conscious decision to grow from it. A ‘victim mentality’ a state of stagnant improvement is what comes out of the fixed mindset and like Kara J Jones puts it “being non-confrontational with ourselves and others is the comforter we carry around, but it achieves absolutely nothing.”. Recognizing my mindset helped me recognize it in others- it kinda rewired my mindset and is constantly shaping my values not only in myself but in the people around me.
Avoid judging others, even if the gossip is too juicy not to share- just avoid it. Just one thought a time and be confrontational with yourself, accept mistakes and do not let them affect your outlook and most importantly take accountability, be honest with yourself and others. The process is to grow.
(different pace for a blog but if you are interested in reading more about it, I recommend Mindsets by Carol Dweck)